Truths for Mature Humans

Posted on April 29, 2010

 

I recieved a funny list in an e-mail from a sibling and found it very interesting so I’m reposting it here for my blog audience.  I’d give credit to the individual who created it, but I have no idea.  I hope you enjoy this list as much as I did.  Because this is a business blog I will rarely post private pictures – but this is one of my favorites of me and the kids.   

Truths For Mature Humans
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1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was
younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty
sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for
the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I
swear I did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this -
ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang 
it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and
run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first
saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to
finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod
and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up
to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers
and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button
from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every
time!

33. And becasue this is a telecommunications and IT blog, don’t forget to get with your favorite carrier agnostic agent for a tune up.

2 Responses to “Truths for Mature Humans”

  1. Brenda
    Aug 16, 2010

    Thanks for reminding me that time does change all things.


  2. Irene
    Sep 01, 2010

    That millisecond talked about in #29 is called an “OH NO”second. Which is defined as: that millisecond after you have done something you shouldn’t have but now realize it’s too late to late to do anything about it. :)



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